A foot is no place for a horse

horseshoeI got stepped on by a horse today. On my foot. While wearing sandals.

Yeah, it sucked, to say the least.

I’ve been in a foul mood ever since. On Father’s Day. Poor Siigo. So I am writing this blog in an attempt to distract myself from my misery and make myself feel better. Not sure if it’s working.

As a present to Siig on Father’s Day, I took the kids out of the house to let him partake in his favorite relaxation past-time – sitting on the couch and watching sports on TV. So me and the kids went to the stables at the bottom of the hill for the pony rides. This involves me paying $5 per kid and leading a pony that likes to stop every minute to take a giant green crap or pee a waterfall or eat mules-ears, and not listen to me begging him to keep going. Yeah, fun. But the kids love it.

Kaiden’s ride went without incident, except for the usual pit-stops. Then it was Kaya’s turn on Mac. Mac was obviously pissed at me for yelling at him to “Giddy-up” and “Let’s go you mangy beast,” so in return for my impatience at his leisurely pace with Kaiden, he stepped on me.

Let me tell you, it’s quite shocking to see a 700-pound animal standing on your sandaled-foot, not to mention that it frickin’ hurt. I literally had to push Mac off me, which wasn’t easy. Then, after making sure my foot wasn’t broken, I cried. Through my tears, I glanced at my children to see what their reaction was at seeing their mother break down. True to gender stereotype, Kaiden seemed indifferent while Kaya seemed mildly concerned.

Ahhh, the joys of parenting. I guess the old adage is true: No pain, no gain. I gained a horse-shoe imprint on my right foot and the knowledge that wearing sandals while leading your kid on a pony ride is dumb. Siig got two hours of alone time. My kids got to see their mother cry.

The real winner in all this? Definitely Mac, who’s probably still laughing in his hey. Bastard.

There. Now I feel better.

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