All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned this 4th of July


What I learned over this 4th of July weekend:

1. I am not a boater. Something about being trapped on a 20-foot floating piece of machinery in the middle of a lake does not sit well with me.

2. Falling off your bike hurts when you are a kid, but when you are 37 it hurts like a mother-fucker.

3. Watching fireworks explode over a huge lake with an almost-full moon: awesome. Watching said fireworks with your kids: more awesome.Watching the expression on your kids’ faces as they watch the fireworks: priceless.

4. A two-year old cannot sit through an entire movie, even when bribed with a pack of Red Vines.

5. For an almost 5-year old boy, it doesn’t get much better than digging in the sand at the beach and actually finding a buried treasure, even if it’s a monster truck and not pirate gold.

6. Siig can drink more Coronas than a fraternity on spring break in Mexico.

7. Jumping on a trampoline with no bra is no bueno.

8. Tourists do not know how to drive.

9. People-watching is at an all time high during the holidays.

10. Kids can go a week without a bath and be just fine.


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